you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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