elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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