i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
