I am puke
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
