as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
