I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
