My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
