dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
