I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
