sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
