I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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