Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
