We won't sleep together?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
