Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize