Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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