I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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