found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
