i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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