the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
