why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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