so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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