Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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