PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
