so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
