She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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