dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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