last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
