so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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