If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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