"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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