He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
