Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
not ubering you a puppy
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Just puked most of my soul out..
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