We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
wow bdsm is so cute
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