You're so nebulous sometimes
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize