me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
