Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize