Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
