my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
