i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having hate sex.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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