Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Randomize
