I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
