easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize