he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
