im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
