You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
