You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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