he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
