dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
