I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
