make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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