Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Two words: blizzard sex
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
