im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
