You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
