Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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