Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
