I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
