I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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