I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
