haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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