it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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